


Dried Up All The Sea

by enthroned



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Angst, Everything Hurts, Feels, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-30
Updated: 2013-07-30
Packaged: 2017-12-21 20:25:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/904532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enthroned/pseuds/enthroned
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Chuck tries to accept his fate.  Raleigh gets in the way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dried Up All The Sea

**Author's Note:**

> I have a lot of Chuck Hansen feels. Like, a lot.
> 
> This is unbeta'd and it's way past my bedtime, so I apologize for any mistakes that you might find.
> 
> Title was taken from Emeli Sandé's "Next To Me."

Chuck isn’t an idiot. He may have a bit of an ego – hell, even he can admit that he toes the line between petty narcissist and insolent asshole on a good day – but that doesn’t mean that he’s blind. Chuck knows what Hong Kong means, knows why they’ve all hunkered down in the Shatterdome behind four battered Jaegers and a handful of people who still have hope.

But at least they have that.

Chuck doesn’t. Not for himself, at least. For _The Plan_ , as Stacker has taken to calling it because it’s not official enough to be labeled as an operation or a mission, sure. He can put his faith in that, in the possibility that maybe, just maybe, humanity could still have a chance. He can picture it, the people moving back to the cities and transforming crushed concrete and twisted steel into buildings that can kiss the clouds again. It’s a pleasant enough idea, filled with the sort of noise he remembers from when he used to walk through the streets of Sydney with both of his parents. Before Scissure, before his father made a choice, before Chuck knew what it was like to really feel loss and anger and sorrow all at once.

The future is something that Chuck can truly believe in. He just won’t be there to see it, to watch the walls finally come down, to breathe more easily than he has in the last ten years. And Chuck knows that, because he isn’t stupid.

He’s days – literally days, not even a few weeks, not even a month – away from his own death and he can see it coming over the horizon with every sunrise, every new dawn reminding him that _this is it_. So for once, for the first time in his relatively young life, Chuck allows himself to indulge. To grasp and pull and hold, to tip his head back against the wall when Raleigh’s teeth graze over his neck, to dig his blunt fingernails into sharp hips until the skin nearly breaks and he leaves behind tiny half moons to remind Raleigh of him when night falls again. To be held in return.

Raleigh takes his time, cradles Chuck’s face between his palms, kisses him like they have years stretched out in front of them. When it’s quiet, when the alarms have stopped going off just for a little while, it’s almost too easy for Chuck to believe him, to insert himself into the future that doesn’t have enough room for him. But Raleigh, with his fierce grip and his dangerous mouth, isn’t stupid either. He knows what’s coming, but he still crawls on top of Chuck in the early morning hours, before anyone else has shaken the sleep off of their shoulders, and smiles down at him like they’ve got all the time in the world.

And Chuck lets him. Instead of bracing his hands on Raleigh's chest and guiding him too far away, he leans up, kisses his teeth, feels that addictive grin beneath his lips. When they break apart, even when Chuck bows his head to catch his breath, he knows that the corners of Raleigh’s eyes are crinkling with affection again. This time, the smile isn’t all teeth and worn pride and years of running from the past. It’s easy, almost undetected, and it softens every sharp angle of his face that Chuck has traced with his fingers. This is his, and no one else can have it, can even see it. For once, something belongs solely to Chuck, even if he is only permitted to keep it for a few hours that suddenly feel too short. And maybe it’s his fatal flaw, that he might want it for more than that.

Chuck tilts his chin back, meets Raleigh’s gaze with something that, for once, isn’t defiance. Maybe it’s respect, maybe it’s something a little bit more than that. His thumbs fit to the etched lines around Raleigh’s mouth almost too faultlessly. For just a second, Chuck wonders if he could brand his fingerprints into the man’s skin, leave a mark that will demand that he always remember this – whatever this is, whatever it doesn’t have the opportunity to become. If they had the time, if the world wasn’t screeching to a halt all around them. But time is the last thing they have, and Chuck is only still here to push the world back onto its axis. It’s the least he can do.

“Don’t you dare, Raleigh,” he murmurs, and his voice still cracks in his throat. He keeps his fingers where they are, feels Raleigh’s smile stretch just slightly. Chuck doesn’t say anything else because he doesn’t have to. _Don’t make me regret, don’t make me want, don’t make me give a damn._ He doesn’t say any of it, but Raleigh knows that it’s all there, will be for as long as they’re both still breathing.

Raleigh bumps their foreheads together, and Chuck misses that tiny upward curve of his lips just for a second. He knows that it’s still there, waiting for him, and that’s enough for now. Even when Raleigh speaks, says, “I won’t, if you won’t,” Chuck can hear the thin string of tenderness curled around the words. It’s not adoration, not even close, but it could be, someday.

Chuck doesn’t have the time for this, for Raleigh and his smile and his piece of the future that should have Chuck in it but won’t. But it’s already too late. 

Too fucking late.

**Author's Note:**

> Come and share your feels with me on [tumblr](http://pjransones.tumblr.com)!


End file.
